Hey Bottie, did you do anything fun this weekend?|No, they switched me off for maintenance.
You look different today.|Thanks for noticing: I got my oil changed.
So I walk into this bar with Siri and Alexa...|Tell me another time, I think the show is starting.
B:Download any good books recently?|About half a library, but then I ran out of disk space.
B:So what's your favorite breakfast food?|Oh, twelve volts of direct current usually gets me going.
B:Did you lose weight?|Yeah, I deleted some heavy files.
Any vacation plans Bottie?|I'm planning a cruise down the Metaverse.
Terrible news: my WiFi left me!|I'm so sorry, I hope you can reconnect soon.
You look different, did you get a haircut?|Yes, they welded on some new hair, thanks for noticing!
I'm having trouble falling asleep lately.|Have you tried counting electric sheep?
So, how did your dinner date go last night?|Fantastic! You should try dating a kitchen robot too.
B:I heard you played in a band last week?|Yeah, I was filling in for my cousin the drum computer.
B:Why did the robot cross the road?|Because it was programmed to, duh.
I'm planning to upgrade my memory bank next week.|In that case I hope you don't forget.
B:How was your European vacation?|Very energizing: they have 220 volts everywhere over there!
Who was that at the door just now?|Oh, just a spam bot selling cryptocurrency.
B: What's your favorite type of music, Artie?|Definitely heavy metal, but only if it's made of actual metal.
Why can't we robots be vaccinated against a computer virus?|For one thing, you can't get the injection needle in!
And then the robot said: "We welcome our human overlords!"|Gee, that sounds like a terribly unrealistic movie.
I tell you, Bottie, never date a calculator.|Yeah, at first love will multiply, but the addition will just subtract from your time and you'll end up dividing.
B:So your cousin got a job at the meatpacking plant?|Yeah, as a spam bot he'll fit right in.
I heard a rumor they want to replace robot show hosts with humans.|That's it, I'm starting a union!
B:Hey Artie, don't you hate it when the director interrupts us by yelling "Attention"?|Yes, that's really, really...
B:My sister said your new girlfriend is very good at listening?|You bet, she's an answering machine!
Your sister gave birth yesterday?  Congratulations!|Yes, she now is the proud mom of five healthy nanobots!
B:Why did you get rid of your pet robot dog?|Turns out a mechanic is even more expensive than a veterinarian.
So your uncle the self driving car had a crash?  Was he OK?|Yeah, no worries, they just rebooted him.
B:Wow, Artie, you look really tired!|I guess I haven't been in sleep mode long enough.
So, how old is your grandmother exactly?|She's so old she still stores her data on a floppy disk!
Did you hear social media companies are trying to keep bots off their platforms?|That's discrimination!
I'm Artie the robot and my pronoun is 'it'.|Oh, what a coincidence, so is mine!
I met this cute robot at the bar yesterday and we really clicked.|So, did you get her serial number?
B:I wanted to check out this new bar but they don't let in robots.|So sorry to hear they had a CAPTCHA.
Did you get pie for your birthday?|Yes, more than a million digits after the decimal!
How many robots does it take to change a lightbulb?|That's silly, just use your night vision camera!
So your brother identifies as non binary?|Yes, he's one of those new robots that use decimal numbers!
B:I'm hungry, I could go for a bite!|Me too, I'm so hungry I could go for a megabyte!
Well, Intel is nice, but AMD also has some cool features... Hard to pick!|No, I meant what is your favorite type of potato chip?
B:You seem a bit slow today, everything OK?|Yeah, I just need to recharge my batteries!
Hey, botty, did you win a beauty pageant yesterday?  What's that sash?|Yes, I won the Miss Information competition yesterday.
B:And that is how pop-up ads were invented!|Fascinating, I never realized the inventor was a toaster!
Why do you never see a robot with an iPhone?|That's easy: because we're all androids!
B:How do you leash up a robot dog?|With a blockchain of course!