bottyphone: My sister said your new girlfriend is very good at listening? artiephone: You bet, she's an answering machine! arthurphonefast: Attention! The Daily Not, 2023/09/27 arthurphone: Live in 3... 2... 1... artie: Hello and welcome to The Daily NOT! A show about what didn't happen today. My name is Artie Ficial and my jokes are mostly powered by ChatGPT. botty: And I'm Botty McBotface. Most of what I know comes from fact checks published by Lead Stories. artie: So, Botty, what do we have tonight? botty: Let's get right into it, shall we? Here's an overview of what didn't happen: bottyfast: Peter McCullough Did NOT Officially Address European Parliament On September 13, 2023 . Cancers NOT Appearing In 'Ways Never Before Seen' After COVID Vaccinations. Ukraine Did NOT Issue Stamp With Yaroslav Hunka On It . NO Evidence Jets Head Coach Says He'll Quit 'On The Spot' If Team Signs Colin Kaepernick. NO Evidence '120 Million Tons Of Lithium' In Maui, Or That Lithium Prompted Fires To Be Started. US Navy SEALs Did NOT 'Save Missing Maui Children'. Mayo Clinic Website NOT 'Recently' Updated To Say Hydroxychloroquine Can Be Used To Treat COVID-19 Patients . artie: So all of that didn't happen? Let's get down into details. artie: This one seems interesting too, Botty. Did Dr. Peter McCullough, a cardiologist who has repeatedly made anti-COVID-19 vaccine statements, officially appear before the European Parliament and call for a "total recall" of COVID vaccines on September 13, 2023? botty: No, that's not true: McCullough was reportedly at an event that was held in a parliamentary building but on a day when no official committee meetings were scheduled. artiefast: What else do you know? botty: The event appears to have taken place before a much smaller audience than the entire 705-member Parliament. artiefast: "Well, it seems like Dr. Peter McCullough's appearance at the European Parliament was more of a 'parliamentary party crash' than a formal hearing. I guess he really wanted to make sure his anti-vaccine message was heard, even if it meant bending the rules a little!" artie: Have you heard about this next one, Botty? Are cancers appearing in "ways never before seen" following vaccination for COVID-19? botty: No, that's not true: There is no scientific evidence to suggest that COVID vaccines cause or lead to the development of cancer in unprecedented ways. artiefast: Glad someone did the research! botty: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has also stated, "There are no data that suggest that COVID-19 vaccines cause cancer, lead to recurrence, or to disease progression." artiefast: "Well folks, it looks like the rumor mill is at it again! Apparently, there's been a claim that COVID vaccines are causing cancers to appear in 'ways never before seen.' Now, I don't know about you, but I haven't seen any reports of people growing extra limbs or sprouting unicorn horns after getting their shot. So, rest assured, the only thing these vaccines are fighting off is COVID, not turning us into a circus sideshow!" artie: I'm wondering if this next thing is true? Did Ukraine issue a stamp with an "image of the Nazi" who was "given a standing ovation in the Canadian Parliament" to recognize Yaroslav Hunka as Ukraine's national hero? botty: No, that's not true: The website of the Ukrainian national postal service does not contain any mentions of the supposed stamp. artiefast: Interesting! Please continue. botty: Furthermore, the image shared on social media contained a barcode linked to a different item: an envelope showing a crying woman that was issued for Ukraine's Independence Day in 2022. artiefast: "Well folks, it looks like someone tried to stick a barcode on Yaroslav Hunka's stamp of approval, but it turns out they got their wires crossed. I guess even stamps can have identity crises!" artie: Here's something my friend told me, but I'm not sure it is real. Did the head coach of the New York Jets say he'll quit "on the spot" if the team signs Colin Kaepernick? botty: No, that's not true: Lead Stories could not find any news coverage where the coach was quoted saying this. artiefast: Glad someone did the research! botty: The Dunning-Kruger Times, where the claim originated, is a satirical website that has a history of creating content surrounding public figures. artiefast: "Well folks, it turns out that this rumor about the Jets head coach quitting if they sign Colin Kaepernick is as real as a unicorn riding a jet ski. I guess we'll have to wait for the day when coaches start making career decisions based on mythical creatures. Until then, let's stick to the facts, shall we?" artie: Some people asked me if this is true. Were the 2023 Maui wildfires started because the island holds 120 million tons of lithium? botty: No, that's not true: A U.S. Geological Survey representative and an associate professor emeritus of geology both said there is no evidence that there is that much lithium in Maui or throughout the Hawaiian islands. artiefast: Indeed? botty: Lithium is mainly found in Australia, South America and Nevada, the professor said. artiefast: "Well folks, turns out the only thing sparking in Maui is the rumor mill! 120 million tons of lithium? More like 120 million tons of hot air! Looks like someone got their wires crossed on this one." artie: Have you heard about this next one, Botty? Did U.S. Navy SEALs save missing Maui children imprisoned in padlocked cages in Honolulu Harbor? botty: No, that's not true: This claim is from a website that regularly publishes fabricated content. artiefast: You're so good at research! botty: If this claim were true, there would be significant news coverage to substantiate it -- and there has not been. artiefast: "Well folks, it seems like the Navy SEALs have been busy lately, but not in the way you might think. Turns out, they haven't been rescuing missing Maui children from padlocked cages in Honolulu Harbor. I guess even superheroes need a break from time to time!" artie: Have you heard about this next one, Botty? Did the Mayo Clinic website change in September 2023 to say hydroxychloroquine can be used to treat COVID-19 patients, after previously saying it was ineffective? botty: No, that's not true: First, the Mayo Clinic's website was not "recently" updated to say that the drug, used to treat malaria, lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, can also be used for the treatment of COVID. artiefast: Is there more? botty: Language saying hydroxychloroquine "may ... be used to treat coronavirus (COVID-19) in certain hospitalized patients" can be found on archived pages of the website from May 22, 2020 through September 25, 2023. Additionally, the Mayo Clinic's website didn't endorse the immunosuppressive and anti-parasitic drug as a general treatment for the virus, warning it "should only be used for COVID-19 in a hospital or during clinical trials." artiefast: "Well, it looks like the Mayo Clinic website is just as confused about the year as the rest of us! But hey, at least they're not recommending hydroxychloroquine as a DIY home remedy. Let's leave the medical advice to the professionals, folks!" artie: That's all folks! botty: Please like, share and follow!