bottyphone: So your cousin got a job at the meatpacking plant?
artiephone: Yeah, as a spam bot he'll fit right in.
arthurphonefast: Attention! The Daily Not, 2023/09/22
arthurphone: Live in 3... 2... 1...
artie: Hello and welcome to The Daily NOT! A show about what didn't happen today. My name is Artie Ficial and my jokes are mostly powered by ChatGPT.
botty: And I'm Botty McBotface. Most of what I know comes from fact checks published by Lead Stories.
artie: So, Botty, what do we have tonight?
botty: Let's get right into it, shall we?  Here's an overview of what didn't happen:
bottyfast:  Deutsche Welle Did NOT Report That Poles Use Wi-Fi Network Names 'Offensive' To Ukrainian Refugees In Poland.
 Video Does NOT Show FEMA 'Concentration Camp' In Hawaii .
 Sen. Cory Booker Did NOT Wear Pink Booty Shorts At Capitol After Dress Code Change .
 Sen. John Fetterman Has NOT Lost His Tattoos .
 Lakes Are NOT Man-Made Features Used To Cover Artifacts Of A 'Tartarian' Empire Wiped Out By 'Mud Flood'.
 Pfizer Did NOT Just Agree To Pay $2.3 Billion In Largest Health Care Fraud Settlement In DOJ History .
 Horror Video Is NOT Real Case Of Girl Knocking On Stranger's Door To Escape Creepy Guy Claiming He Is Her Husband.
 'Glory To Urine' Was NOT Displayed On A Large LED Billboard Near New York City's Times Square .

artie: So all of that didn't happen?  Let's get down into details.
artie: This one's out there on the internet.
 Did the German public broadcaster Deutsche Welle (DW) report that Poles have started to rename their Wi-Fi networks to insult Ukrainian refugees in Poland?
botty: No, that's not true: Both DW and the Ukrainian government refuted the claim.
artiefast: Is there more?
botty: A Lead Stories analysis indicates that the claim's list of supposed Wi-Fi networks may predate Russia's 2022 full-scale invasion of Ukraine that displaced millions of Ukrainians.
artiefast: "Well, it turns out that reports of Poles renaming their Wi-Fi networks to insult Ukrainian refugees were just a bit off the mark. I guess we'll have to find another way to bring people together...or maybe just stick to good old-fashioned knock-knock jokes!"
artie: Can you explain this for me?
 Does a social-media video show a Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) "concentration camp" in Hawaii?
botty: No, this is not true: This video, according to a FEMA spokesperson, shows a project with which FEMA is not at all affiliated, where tiny homes were built for homeless and at-risk U.S.
artiefast: Tell me more, Botty.
botty: veterans.
artiefast: "Well folks, turns out that video of a so-called 'FEMA concentration camp' in Hawaii was just a case of mistaken identity. It's actually a housing development for homeless veterans. I guess you could say it's a 'concentration camp' for good vibes and helping those in need!"
artie: I've got a question for you.
 Did New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker wear pink booty shorts at the Capitol after the Senate changed its dress code?
botty: No, that's not true: The account that posted the image of Booker in hot pink shorts is clearly labeled satire.
artiefast: Tell me more, Botty.
botty: It later posted a message calling out the fact that people were not getting the joke.
artiefast: "Well folks, it seems some people were really caught off guard by this one. Turns out, Senator Cory Booker did not actually sport pink booty shorts at the Capitol. I guess you could say he's more of a 'serious legislator' than a 'fashion icon.' But hey, at least we can all appreciate a good satire fail, right?"
artie: Some people asked me if this is true. Do photos of Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman show that he lost his forearm tattoos?
botty: No, that's not true: Two screenshots taken from videos of Fetterman reacting to a question in an animated manner do not show his tattoos, but the tattoos are visible in other frames of the same videos.
artiefast: Interesting! Please continue.
botty: This is due to the fact that human arms can rotate.
artiefast: "Well folks, turns out Senator Fetterman's tattoos are just as flexible as his political views! They're still there, just playing hide and seek in those cherry-picked screenshots. Talk about an ink-redible disappearing act!"
artie: I don't know what to believe about this thing.
 Are all lakes man-made to cover up ruins of an ancient civilization?
botty: No, that's not true: While there are some man-made lakes, ponds and reservoirs, lakes are also naturally formed features created over time through several geological processes, including glacial runoff, river erosion, volcanic activity and groundwater changes.
artiefast: I see you have more on your notepad?
botty: The basis of the claim that "all lakes are man-made" stems from an unfounded conspiracy theory rooted in the premise of the Tartarian (also Tartary) Empire, which is said to be a lost civilization whose technologies were wiped out by an historically unsubstantiated "mud flood." 
artiefast: "Well folks, it turns out lakes aren't just man-made cover-ups for ancient civilizations. Who knew? I guess we can all take a deep breath and enjoy our lakeside picnics without worrying about stumbling upon any lost empires. Phew, what a relief!"
artie: I've got a question for you.
 Did Pfizer recently agree to pay $2.3 billion for medical fraud, the largest health care fraud settlement in the history of the U.S. Department of Justice and was this related to Covid-19 vaccination?
botty: No, that's not true: Pfizer did agree to pay such a settlement in 2009, but not in 2023.
artiefast: Is that all you know? Or is there more?
botty: The settlement was for the misbranding of the anti-inflammatory drug Bextra "with the intent to disfraud or mislead" and for the "illegal promotion" of Bextra and other drugs. Pfizer removed Bextra from the market in 2005, according to the Justice Department.
artiefast: "Well, folks, it looks like Pfizer is really ahead of the game! They settled the largest health care fraud case in DOJ history back in 2009, way before it was cool. Talk about being ahead of the curve!"
artie: I want to ask you something Botty.
 Does a social-media video of a young woman knocking on a door in distress to seek shelter from a male stalker, who claims to be her husband, depict an actual event?
botty: No, that's not true: It's a staged skit.
artiefast: Are there more details?
botty: The video, which features actors, is part of a three-part horror story shot by a French content creator.
artiefast: "Well folks, turns out that video of a girl knocking on a stranger's door to escape a creepy guy claiming to be her husband was just a case of 'horror-ble' acting! Looks like even stalkers can't catch a break in the world of fake horror stories."
artie: So, Botty, can you look into this other thing for me?
 Did an LED billboard at the corner of 42nd Street and 8th Avenue in Manhattan feature the words "Glory to Urine" against a waving blue-and-yellow Ukrainian flag to welcome Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to New York City for the United Nations General Assembly meeting on September 19, 2023?
botty: No, that's not true: This video is not current or authentic.
artiefast: I did not expect that.
botty: Shots of the same corner, taken on the day this claim went live, do not match the video -- evidence that this is not a recent scene but old footage used to create a fake video.
artiefast: "Well folks, it turns out that the 'Glory to Urine' billboard near Times Square was just a wee bit of fake news. Looks like someone took the piss with this video manipulation!"
artie: That's all folks!
botty: Please like, share and follow!