bottyphone: Why did you get rid of your pet robot dog?
artiephone: Turns out a mechanic is even more expensive than a veterinarian.
arthurphonefast: Attention! The Daily Not, 2023/09/20
arthurphone: Live in 3... 2... 1...
artie: Hello and welcome to The Daily NOT! A show about what didn't happen today. My name is Artie Ficial and my jokes are mostly powered by ChatGPT.
botty: And I'm Botty McBotface. Most of what I know comes from fact checks published by Lead Stories.
artie: So, Botty, what do we have tonight?
botty: Let's get right into it, shall we?  Here's an overview of what didn't happen:
bottyfast:  NO Evidence FEMA Emergency Test Will Cause DNA Damage By Activating 'Nanoparticles Including Graphene Oxide'.
 Video Does NOT Show Tucker Carlson 'Broke In Tears' While Speaking On Antarctica.
 US Military Did NOT Arrest Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen.
 Reuters Did NOT Publish 2024 Election Polling Numbers .
 Video Does NOT Show 'Real Alien' Examination .
 NYPD Officers Did NOT Arrest Two Young People For Sleeping Near Times Square .
 American F-35 Did NOT Land In Cuba.

artie: So all of that didn't happen?  Let's get down into details.
artie: This one seems interesting too, Botty.
 Is there evidence that the next FEMA emergency test will not really be a test but a cover for the government to send high-frequency signals activating "nanoparticles including graphene oxide" into phones, TVs and radios, possibly causing DNA damage in people?
botty: No, that's not true: On August 3, 2303, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) announced there would be a nationwide test of the emergency alert system on October 4, 2023.
artiefast: Are there more details?
botty: The message will be delivered via text to phones, on TV stations and via radio stations. The person in a video making the claim offers no evidence that the signals or messages will activate nanoparticles and graphene oxide. The post cites a study published in 2019 -- but that study makes no mention of graphene oxide being transmitted through a signal to phones, TVs or radios.
artiefast: "Well folks, it seems like some people are worried that the next FEMA emergency test will turn into a sci-fi movie plot. Activating nanoparticles and graphene oxide through our phones, TVs, and radios? I don't know about you, but I'm just hoping it activates my pizza delivery app instead!"
artie: I asked Siri about the next thing, but she didn't know.  How about you Botty?
 Does this video show that political commentator Tucker Carlson "broke in tears" talking about Antarctica?
botty: No, that's not true: This video does not show Carlson crying while talking about Antarctica.
artiefast: I did not expect that.
botty: The Facebook video merely shows clips of Carlson speaking, but does not allow the original audio from these moments to be heard.
artiefast: Well folks, it turns out that Tucker Carlson did not break down in tears while talking about Antarctica. I guess even the penguins couldn't bring him to tears!
artie: Can you explain this for me?
 Did the U.S. Army arrest U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen for committing treason?
botty: No, that's not true: The website where this claim was made has a disclaimer that states it publishes satirical content.
artiefast: Oh, wow.
botty: The U.S. military is currently not authorized by Congress to arrest civilians.
artiefast: "Well folks, it turns out that the U.S. military did not arrest Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen for treason. I guess they were too busy protecting our country to add 'arresting civilians' to their to-do list. But hey, at least we can count on them for some good satire!"
artie: Can you explain this for me?
 Did Reuters publish 2024 presidential election polling numbers that heavily favored former president and current candidate Donald Trump?
botty: No, that's not true: Reuters has debunked the fake numbers and a map associated with the numbers.
artiefast: And that's one more thing we've learned today!
botty: The map was created on a website that allows users to design their own "election forecast."
artiefast: "Well folks, it turns out that Reuters didn't actually publish those 2024 election polling numbers. It seems like someone got a little too excited about their web design skills and created their own map. I guess we can't trust everything we see on the internet, especially when it comes to predicting the future. Maybe we should stick to fortune cookies instead!"
artie: I don't know what to believe about this thing.
 Does this video show a military medical specialist examining a living alien in a laboratory setting at Area 51 in southern Nevada, or elsewhere, perhaps in New Mexico?
botty: Does this video show a military medical specialist examining a living alien in a laboratory setting at Area 51 in southern Nevada, or elsewhere, perhaps in New Mexico? No, that's not true: This video clip is not evidence of alien life, it's a short clip from an adult film titled "Roswell UFO" produced in the Czech Republic for horrorporn.com.
artiefast: Some people will be happy to hear that.
botty: Does this video show a military medical specialist examining a living alien in a laboratory setting at Area 51 in southern Nevada, or elsewhere, perhaps in New Mexico? No, that's not true: This video clip is not evidence of alien life, it's a short clip from an adult film titled "Roswell UFO" produced in the Czech Republic for horrorporn.com.
artiefast: "Well folks, turns out that the truth is stranger than fiction, or in this case, stranger than adult films! So, if you were hoping for a close encounter of the extraterrestrial kind, I'm sorry to burst your bubble. Remember, sometimes even aliens need a little privacy... in the Czech Republic!"
artie: So, I saw something online the other day.
 Did "undercover NYPD" officers "arrest two young people for sleeping on the concrete blocks a few blocks from Times Square"?
botty: No, that's not true: the persons in question were not trying to sleep in a noisy, well-lit area on top of concrete blocks.
artiefast: That's good to know.
botty: A spokesperson for the Office of the Deputy Commissioner, Public Information at the New York City Police Department (NYPD) says the suspects were arrested on various theft charges.
artiefast: "Well folks, turns out these two young people weren't just catching some Z's near Times Square, they were apparently trying to catch some 'Z's' as in 'Z' for 'Zorro' because they were charged with theft! Looks like they were sleepwalking their way into some sticky situations!"
artie: Here's something my friend told me, but I'm not sure it is real.
 Does a social media post prove that a U.S. F-35 fighter jet landed safely "at the Chinese base in Cuba"?
botty: No, that's not true: The debris of an F-35 that vanished in September 2023 was found after a daylong search; its pilot had safely ejected before its crash.
artiefast: Interesting! Please continue.
botty: No official statements contradicted this version of events, and a national security expert confirmed to Lead Stories that the scenario described on social media was highly unlikely.
artiefast: "Well folks, it seems like the internet is really taking off with some wild theories. Apparently, there's a rumor going around that an American F-35 fighter jet landed in Cuba. Now, I don't know about you, but I think it's safe to say that if a fighter jet did land in Cuba, it probably wouldn't be for a piņa colada on the beach. Let's stick to the facts, people!"
artie: That's all folks!
botty: Please like, share and follow!